You can learn a lot from your wee. It contains lots of things your body doesn’t want anymore, all dissolved in water. For example, as our bodies can’t store amino acids, these are got rid of in urine (and in sweat!) as urea.
I often hear people say that urine is sterile. This seems to be sort of true, but sort of not. It is sterile when it leaves the kidneys, but picks up bacteria on the way out of the body. Bacteria in urine are then what makes it smell later on. This is why you need to flush the toilet, even if it’s 3am and you’re afraid of waking everyone up.
What else can we learn?
#1: it hurts to wee! Ouch! Could be a urinary tract infection, enlarged prostate, kidney/bladder stones, and – of course – STIs such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and herpes. What have you been up to, eh?!
#2: there’s blood in it! Not good. Various unpleasant possible causes, including cystitis, kidney infection, kidney stones, enlarged prostate gland or bladder/kidney/prostate cancer. Go see someone.
#3: there’s protein in it! You wouldn’t easily tell this one, though you might notice a sort of ‘frothiness’. Proteinuria (protein in the urine) can be a sign of various things, including diabetes, urinary tract infections, various kidney conditions, or even just stress. Go see someone.
#4: it stinks! You’ve been eating asparagus.
#5: I can’t go! Again there are various reasons for this. You might just be pee-shy. Otherwise it could be a sign of various bladder problems, prostate cancer, or the result of – again – a sexually transmitted infection.
So plenty to see, then. Make sure you keep an eye on what’s going on in that bowl!
U is also for…Upper lip
AKA the victim and perpetrator, all in one.
All through Movember, men all over the world have been deliberately and determinedly trying to cover up their upper lips, to replace the skin there with hair, aesthetically-pleasing or otherwise. Poor thing, to be persecuted so.
No. Yes, it seems innocuous. But don’t forget its penchant for going stiff from time to time. For example, when a man feels pain and then can’t admit it. Or when a man discovers something strange and worrying about his body, but decides not to go and ask a health professional about it.
No. You deserve it, upper lip. I hope you itch too, you bastard.
Please feel free to donate to my Movember campaign – all donations very much appreciated!